Some truisms of life:
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive in school really necessary?
Map Quest really needs to start directions on #5 since I’m quite sure I already know how to get out of my driveway.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you why the person died.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks if I want to save the changes to my 10-page technical report that I did not make any changes to.
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone so I’ll know not to answer if they call.
I think the freezer ought to have a light inside like the refrigerator.
I wish Google maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand what was said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them almost forever.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket or purse, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey. But I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
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