Flexibility

(Once again, Chuck Swindoll says it well. This article applies to all of us who are resistant to the changes God wants to bring in our lives and churches.)

Flexibility
Are you open to change?

People who make a difference can be stretched, pulled, pushed, and often changed. You heard it from me: traditionalism is an old dragon, bad about squeezing the very life out of its victims. So never stop fighting it. Watch out for those age-old ruts!

Let’s be careful to identify the right opponent. It isn’t tradition per se; it’s traditionalism. I’m not trying to be petty, only accurate. The right kind of traditions gives us deep roots—a solid network of reliable truth in a day when everything seems up for grabs.

Among such traditions are those strong statements and principles that tie us to the mast of truth when storms of uncertainty create frightening waves of change driven by winds of doubt. For example: believing in the authority of Holy Scripture, knowing and loving God, bowing to the lordship of Jesus Christ, committing ourselves to others, filling the role of a servant-hearted leader, and becoming a person of genuine encouragement. Such traditions (there are others, of course) are valuable absolutes that keep us from feeling awash in a world of relativism and a culture shot through with uncertainty.

However, a great deal of difference exists between tradition and traditionalism. By traditionalism, I have in mind mainly an attitude that resists change, adaptation, or alteration. It is blindly and forcefully holding fast to a custom or behavior. It is being suspicious of the new, the up-to-date, the different. It is finding one’s security, even identity, in the familiar and therefore opposing whatever threatens that. And if you’ll allow me one more, it is substituting a legalistic system for the freedom and freshness of the Spirit—being more concerned about keeping rigid, human-made rules than being flexible, open to creativity and innovation.

By now, you’ve guessed where I stand. Clearly, my position is on the side of openness, allowing room for the untried, the unpredictable, the unexpected—all the while holding fast to the truth. Believe me; there are plenty of people around who feel it is their calling to tell others what to do and what to say. They are self-appointed wing-clippers who frown on new ways and put down high flight. They work hard to squeeze you into their mold.

Whoever decides to soar must first fight through the flatland fog that hangs heavy over the swamp of sameness.

—Chuck

Where are we going? What are we doing?

Why we are doing what we are doing.
Matthew 22:34-40, 20:26-28

Intro…I’m sure to the average person looking for a church it can be confusing…so many options…
Text: Matthew 22:34-40, 20:26-28
Big Picture: PLove God, love others and serve the world.

Here we are, almost 4 months into Crossroads.
• How did we get here? (Easter, combined service, pleased nobody, Look what God has done! )
• Where do we want to go? (We’d like to see our entire church grow healthy, both the contemporary service and the traditional. What a great opportunity we have to offer both!)
• How do we get there? By keeping it simple: Love God, love others and serve the world.

Let’s break that down:
We love God through our worship of Him.
• The Sunday morning service is still the primary front door to most churches.
• Through our corporate worship we learn the value of setting aside time for God, koinonia, communion, prayer, teaching, fellowship etc.
• It should be both our duty and our pleasure to worship God.
We love others through our small groups/bible studies.
• Right now we offer two mid week small groups…
• We will create new small groups as the need arises.
• We can be accountably in these groups and really get to know each other, pray for each other etc.
• I know it’s hard to get out on a weeknight…but it’s worth it!
Serve the world.
• That can start locally (SOS, outreach events etc.) and eventually expand to missions trips around the world.
• How many of you have been to other countries on mission trips?
• Be creative with how you serve others. It can happen in so many ways on a small scale and a large scale.
• Start in your home, your neighborhood, your work place, your school, your community.
• The power of service can never be denied.
• Jesus sets the ultimate example in Matt. 20:26-28

In our text today, the Pharisees tried to trick Jesus into making things more complicated than necessary.
• This expert in the law, a scribe said, “Teacher, what is the greatest commandment?”
• They were actually more interested in debating Jesus than learning the truth.
• They had over 600 laws they were trying to keep, so to them which one was the most important was huge.
• Jesus basically said, “Love God and love others.”
• The entire OT hangs on these two commandments.
• If we can love God, we’ll do the things that please God and live a morally upstanding life and naturally keep the other commandments.
• This is a positive spin on God’s laws instead of worrying about what we should not do.
• If we can love others, then we won’t be so selfish, and that naturally leads to wanting to:
• Serve others.
• Sometimes we want to make the Christian faith such a complicated deal.
• It doesn’t need to be. That’s why I’m trying to keep our mission as a church as short and simple as possible
• It’s a mission statement you all can easily memorize and repeat.
• That way we all know where we are going and we can track peoples spiritual growth or discipleship through those three basic steps.
• We always want to be moving people through those stages of Christian maturity. Each step builds on the other.
• The reason? It’s because we naturally tend to shift towards complacency and what is comfortable. Change is never easy.
• Sources of complacency. (This is what we want to avoid in our own Christian lives and in the life of our church.)

Nov. 14th Outreach
• Skip Frye, Jay Adams
• Article in The Coast News
• Flyers to houses, on business windows etc.
• New sermon series that Sunday, “Search for the Vintage Jesus.”
• Social networking (Please help!)
• Website
• We want people to know we are here, that we’ve made changes.

Plant new churches

Let’s keep the vision right on front of us as to why we are doing all of this.
• We want to see people become Christians and live their lives fully for him.
• It’s about a movement and getting people to follow Jesus.

Conclusion: Dancing nut video

Children obey your parents

Children obey your parents Eph. 6:1-3
Intro…Christian fish comic…parents set the rules.
Text: Ephesians 6:1-3
Big Picture: Children obey your parents in the Lord…so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on this earth.


Our series: Husbands love your wives, Wives submit to your husbands, Children obey your parents…
• Notice how these are all short, simple commands from God. Let’s not make things more complicated than need be.

Review: Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.
Wives submit to your husband’s as to the Lord.
Children obey your parents in the Lord.

Common theme?
As Christians we serve God first. Loving our wives, submitting to our husbands and obeying our parents is the duty of all Christians. We do these things because they are right in God’s eyes…
• It’s not just about loving your wives, submitting and obeying, it’s really about loving God, submitting to Him and obeying Him.

So…in light of all that (today’s sermon)
Ephesians 6:1 Children obey your parents in the Lord…because it’s the right thing to do!
It's like our kids are in the Marines…first time obedience
• When children learn to obey their parents, it sets a precedent for the other authority figures in their lives later on.
• I say to my children all the time (when they complain about doing tasks/chores around the house) “It’s not like I’m asking you to do something that is unreasonable.”

Eph. 6:2 Honor your father and mother.
• It’s also the first commandment with a promise!
• Exodus 20:12 …”so that you may live long in the land the Lord is giving you.
• Obedience sets the stage for a long life. How so?
• Because proper order in the family is the basis for a solid social structure.
• Deut. 21:18-21
• Kids, when you are young and under the authority/influence of your parents, learning to obey them brings a sense of order to your life.
• It teaches you from a young age the line of authority. And what is that line?
• It starts with kids and goes all the way up to God.
• From Old to New Testament, God wants us to obey and honor our parents.
• The general lack of respect that kids have for their parents today is ridiculous. When that respect is established and maintained early on, it will reap benefits for years to come.
• Proverbs 6:20-22
• This is a passage that warns against adultery!
• These verses are similar to Deut. 6:4-9

BTW, we should honor our father and mother all throughout lives. (We are all “kids” until our parents die.)
• For some of you that’s easy, talking, phone calls, emails FB etc.
• For others, parents represent pain. Yet I still believe we can honor them, somehow.

Let’s look at a few other important verses on this topic of children obeying their parents.
• Leviticus 19:3 Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
• Proverbs 1:8-9 ,
• Prov. 13:24, (when you see a 6 yr. old throwing a temper tantrum in the store…ages 1-5 are critical and can set a pattern for life)
• Prov. 22:6, (Our children need constant training, they aren’t going to get disciplined on their own!)
• Prov. 23: 13-14 (our “rod”) What did your parents use?
Prov. 30:17 We used to quote this verse as youth pastors to put the fear of God into the kids…(the body will lay unburied for the birds to feed on. Duet. 28:26 “Your carcasses will be food for all the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and there will be no one to frighten them away.)

• 2 Timothy 3:1-5

• Luke 2:48-52 The example of Jesus.


Conclusion:
• To bring this all full-circle (v. 4) the responsibility always comes back to the Father.
• (Living) “And now a word to you parents, don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather bring them up with loving discipline the Lord himself approves with suggestions and godly advice.”
• So there is the balance. Children need to obey their parents and parents are not to exasperate your children.
• What a tricky balance.
• All children alarm their parents, if only because you are forever expecting to encounter yourself.
Gore Vidal

Wives submit to your husbands.

Relationships part 2, “Wives submit to your husband’s as to the Lord.”

Intro…The perfect couple
The Perfect Story: There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?

Answer: The perfect woman. She's the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

A Male's Response: So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.


Text: Eph. 5:22, Colossians 3:18
Big Picture: “Wives submit to your husband’s as to the Lord.” (Husbands, be the godly man your wife would want to submit to!)

Eph. 5:22-24 and Col. 3:18
• Let’s get it out in the open. It’s right there in the Bible…
• It doesn’t need to be that scary of a concept when understood within the entire framework of a healthy, godly marriage.
• If the husband is doing his job (last week’s sermon) then the wife will want to submit to his leadership.

A parallel that will help: (Eph. 5:23-24)
• Husband: head of the wife
• Christ: head of the church
• So…as the church submits to Christ, wives submit to their husbands.
We follow Christ because we want to, we know it’s right. And that’s the way it should be in a healthy, godly marriage.
• As the husband provides godly leadership, the wife submits because she wants to, knows it’s right (most of the time).
• It helps to point out that this type of godly marriage with mutual submission only works if both partners are fully committed Christians, living their lives for God!

4 main points to this passage I’d like to point out:
Wives submit to the leadership of their husbands.
Wives are to respect their husbands.
Wives are to love their husbands.
Wives are to be committed to their husbands.

v. 22 & 24 Wives submit to the leadership of their husbands.
• “As to the Lord, as is fitting to the Lord.”
• Good wife/husband relationships bring glory to God.
• Woman I told we were married 20 yrs…”I’ve never done anything for 20 yrs!”
• “You have 5 kids! All from the same wife?
• Yes, by God’s grace we’ve been married “all these years.”

1 Peter 3:1-6
• Submission could bring your husband to Christ!
• When a husband sees Christianity lived out consistently in the life of his wife, the purity and reverence for God, it can’t be denied.
• This is the inner beauty that comes from God.
• “The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s eyes.”
• Like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master…
• Women, you are daughters of Sarah…”Do not give way to fear!”
• Fear of what people may think of you.
• Don’t forget vs. 7!

v. 33 Wives are to respect their husbands.
• Husbands need to earn the respect by being godly, servant leaders.
• Men, we can’t expect that respect, unless it’s earned.
• Remember, men want respect, women want security. What a tricky balance.

Before I go any further, I thought it would be good for you to hear this from a woman’s perspective. Kelley…

Titus 2:3-5 Wives are to love their husbands.
• This point should be a no-brainer…tips to the older and younger women..
• Older: be reverent in the way you live…
• Younger: Train the younger women to love their husbands…
• Getting to the point where you love, respect and submit to your husband takes time, training and mentoring from older women.
• Seek out some of the great older women we have in our church.

Romans 7:2 Wives are to be committed until death.
• “Til death do us part”
• “As long as we both shall live.”
• “I will love you faithfully from this day forward.”
• “I give you my life to keep.”
• “I vow to love your forever”
Now obviously this applies to both the wife and husband.
• I’ve used many of the same words today to the women that I did last week to the men: love, commitment, respect, honor.

Conclusion:
• “Mutual submission” is the key phrase I want you to go home with today.
• We need to fight the cultural trend of divorce.
• Let’s reverse the statistics: almost half of Christian couples divorce, just like non-Christians couples.
• George Barna, president and founder of Barna Research Group: "While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing. But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriages."

• That’s one of the reasons I’m preaching this series…
• Men, it is our job to be godly leaders in the home.
• Women, it’s your job to submit to that godly leadership.
• As couples, if we can work together as God has intended, we’ll see some beautiful marriages.
• What an example to others!

Husbands love your wives

Relationships part 2, Husbands love your wives.
Ephesians 5:25-33

Intro… God said to Adam, "I am going to make you a helper, a companion. What would you like your companion to be like?" Adam replied, "Well I want someone that is humorous, witty, intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving, trusting, polite, generous and beautiful."

God paused a moment after Adam's wish list and told Adam that a companion like that 'would cost him an arm and a leg.' Adam seemed a little dejected and then brightly replied: "What can I get for a Rib?"

• Today I want to talk to the men about being Super Dads/husbands.
• Part 2 of our series on relationships…last week…
• Women, wives, women who want to be wives…hold your men to these Biblical standards!

Text: Ephesians 5:25-33

Big Picture: Men, young men, boys, husbands, future husbands, men who want to be better husbands, guys who are considering the possibility of being a husband someday… love your wives.

v. 25-28 Love your wives (simple and straightforward)
• Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
• What did Christ do for the church? He died for her.
• Husbands are you willing to die (to yourself) for your wives?
• Is she that much of a priority to you?
• Does she come above any other woman in your life? Even your mother?
• Colossians 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

How are we to love our wives?
• As we love ourselves. V. 29
• Not all of us are in great shape physically, but think about the other things that you do that you love, things that make you feel good about yourself. (recreation, tech stuff, mechanical, work, books…etc.)
• Just as you are going to make that a priority in your life, (loving yourself) love your wife in the same way.
• Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives than telling wives to submit to their husbands. (Next week’s topic.)
• I’ve always said that in these passages on marriage, the husband has a much greater responsibility.
• V. 26 Just as through baptism we are prepared for entrance into the church, in the Near East, brides were prepared for marriage by a ceremonial bath.
• It is God’s word that cleanses us. John 17:17, Titus 3:5
• So when we love our wives as Christ loved the church, then we are building them up spiritually.

v. 23 Lead your wives
• This may not be politically correct, but it is Biblically correct!
• And here we are talking primarily about being a spiritual leader.
• Men, it’s your job to be the head of the home. Lead, guide, give direction. Set the course, make decisions.
• Unlike most bumbling husbands on TV…(Al Bundy, John Goodman, Jim Belushi, etc.)
• 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
• “Weaker partner,” yes women may lack some of the physical advantages of a man, but in the new life that we are both heirs to, we’re equals.
• Check list: Initiate prayer with your wife, make church a priority, lead by example, be the spiritual leader in your family.

v. 29 Nurture your wives (in the things of Christ).
• “Feeding” and caring for her. We to need make our wives well-being of primary importance. Anticipate her needs.
• Not so much feeding her with food, instead, feeding her emotional needs and spiritual needs.
• We nurture our wives spiritually by following the guidelines above in point #2, “Lead your wives.”
• Active listening, “Really, how did that make you feel?”
• I said it last week, chivalry (gallant or distinguished gentlemen) never gets old. Most women love to be nurtured, loved and taken care of.
• I always remind husbands that they can tell their wives 10 times a day that she is pretty, looks good etc. and she’ll say, “tell me again.”


v. 31-33 Be committed to your wives.
• Besides the grace and power of God, you know what makes a marriage last? Flat-out commitment!
• Marriage vows never get old. Maybe you need to review them.
• Sometimes that commitment needs to be revisited.
• Commitment is the engine that pulls the train of marriage.
• Like the church (us) and our relationship to Christ, marriage is a holy union, a biblical living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender self-sacrificing care from the husband and wife.

Conclusion:
• I’m overwhelmed by these standards! Every man in this room should be!
• We are seeing each week that God’s standard for human relationships is set high.