“Abstinence…really?” (Relationships)
Intro: We were born with a
need for human intimacy, babies moms dads cuddling etc. as we grow, that
God given need needs to be met appropriately.
The natural progression
of human relationships....
We get all kinds of mixed
messages from the media about relationships.
Today we going to take a look
at what God’s ideals are, because that s all that matters.
I previously told you about a
dialog I had on FB with friends about same sex marriage etc.
They kept wanting my opinion, I
kept going back to the Bible.
Text: Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Key things mentioned in
this passage:
Healthy husband/wife
relationship, mutual submission
Godly spiritual leadership by
the man
Marriage commitment and
fidelity
Children obeying their parents
Parents raising children in the
ways of the Lord.
Big Pic: God’s original
plan: A child grows up in a healthy home
with a mother and father and is taught godly relationship principles from them.
There is no magical number of
siblings in the house.
God never said you have to grow
up and get married.
But if and when you do enter
into a relationship with someone from the opposite sex, marriage is the apex of
that relationship.
In order to have a proper perspective on relationships, we first of all
need to have the right relationship with God,
1 Peter 5:6-7.
Understanding God’s perspective
on human relationships starts with humility and setting aside our agenda to
follow Gods agenda.
Let’s first talk about dating relationships.
Proper dating prepares you for
marriage, ideally that would be courtship.
“Are you going to marry this
person?” If not, then friendship is key
as well as respect and treating each other right, especially physically.
“The trouble with underage
dating is that it presents an entirely faulty view of what interaction with the
opposite gender should be about. Rather than placing emphasis on building one
strong relationship with one person at a stage of life when a marital
commitment is feasible, dating encourages young people to pour their energies
into consistently seducing other young people at a time when neither of them
are capable of making any long-term commitments. Their “relationships” are
destined to fail from the get-go because they are founded on unhealthy
perceptions of love and not backed by any real necessity to stick it out.”
The great ugliness of dating as it is practiced by our
culture and portrayed by our media, is that it teaches two people of opposite
genders to be selfish by giving them an easy “out” when things don’t go
according to their initial feelings. I believe it is fair to say that this form
of dating is a training manual for divorce, because it encourages young people
to grow accustomed to giving their hearts away and then taking them back.
We should help our youth focus on developing
healthy friendships with the opposite sex.
There are no bible verses on
dating, but there are plenty on relationships and courtship that would
eventually lead to marriage.
Friendship relationships
Prov.17: 17 says, “A friend
loves at all times.” Prov.18: 24 “There is a friend that sticks closer than a
brother.” Prov.27: 10 says, “Do not
forsake your friend.”
God blesses friendships and
young men and women would save themselves a world of hurt if they would focus
more on friendships than dating.
This is a platonic relationship
and is based on personality and common likes and interests.
The Greek word for this is
“Philo” and it’s a friendship love.
Brothers and sisters in
Christ
When people are Christians,
then they share a common interest in growing deeper in their relationship with
God.
That is of first priority. Instead of looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right,
they are becoming Mr. or Mrs. Right.
This also eliminates the need
for “missionary dating.”
This is a great phase for boys
and girls, men and women to be in before marriage, brothers and sisters in
Christ.
It helps keep the focus on God
and not each other and those raging hormones.
Those God-given hormones and
sexual desires need to be controlled until marriage and then you can go crazy…
Now let’s talk about Marriage/family relationships.
Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives submit to their husband?
Let’s back up to v. 15 & 21…(and
remember 1 Peter 5:6-7 when we submit and humble ourselves before God.)
These verses tell us how to
walk in wisdom, as we all submit to Christ.
This submission starts with
each individual before God, men to God, women to their godly husbands, children
to their godly parents.
So the first example under
general submission is wives to husbands, not all men, but to their husbands.
Yes, and it’s the husbands job
to provide godly leadership and set the example.
Then she will want to submit to
his guidance and leadership.
The larger responsibility falls
to the man to be a godly leader.
Colossians 3:18-19
Parent/child relationships
Eph. 6:1-4, Colossian
3:20-21
Now the submission is from the
children to the parents.
The kids may not
always understand or agree with the parents decisions, but if they are making
godly, well thought out decisions, then the kids need to submit to their
authority.
And that’s where the Fathers
especially are told not to provoke their children to anger.
If we are using godly
principles to parent our children, then we are raising them in the discipline
of the Lord, not just ours.
Col. 3:20-21…”lest they become
discouraged.”
Parent’s, we have a crucial,
God-ordained role in the discipleship of our children.
Obeying your parents is one
way you honor them.
This the only commandment of
the ten that contain a promise.
In God’s eyes, marriage = one man, one woman
for life. Eph. 5:31, Gen. 2:24. Matthew
19:5
In God’s eyes, what constitutes
marriage is when a man and a woman have sex together for the first time.
That’s what consummates the
marriage. Not a fancy ceremony or
license from the state.
I do a lot of weddings and it’s
so rare and refreshing when I meet a couple who are actually getting married in
God’s eyes, right for the first time.
What a gift to give each other!
That’s why sex is so sacred in
God’s eyes and reserved for a man and a woman inside of a committed marriage.
It’s really a shame that the
concept of abstinence is such a foreign concept to most people today.
Page 73 from book.
People tend to forget what a
sacred gift sex is and that God gave that to us to be used inside the proper
boundaries.
God gave us sexual desire and
his ideals are practically unheard of today.
Save sex for marriage?
Seems loony to most people. What’s
the harm, plenty!
Today, almost half of all US marriages ended in divorce….?
Antonio Cromartie has 12 children with 8 different
women…
Again, those proper boundaries
are one man, one woman, committed for life.
Now what happens when people fall outside of God’s ideals for relationships?
All is not lost! Even though we live in a culture of broken
homes and marriages, kids growing up without a mom or dad, people making all
kinds of mistakes in relationships…
We can get back on the right
track with God.
Our God is full of grace, mercy
and forgiveness.
We have to remember that God
wants the best for us in our human relationships, just like a good parent does
for their children.
Conclusion: Here is your encouragement: Colossians 3:12-17
